OH MY GOD
YOU KNOW HOW MONSTERS INC 2 IS COMING OUT IN 2013
AND HOW WE’LL HAVE WAITED 12 YEARS FOR IT
DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT WE CAN SAY
IT TOOK ME A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO UNDERSTAND THIS I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST LIKE ANOTHER 90s KIDS THING OR SOMETHING AND THEN I READ IT AGAIN AND TWELVE YEARS AND OH MY GOD I JUST FELL OFF MY CHAIR SHRIEKING
- Take tea.
- Throw in harbor.
- Let sit.
- Initiate revolution.
If you download music illegally in Jamaica
does that make you
A PIRATE OF THE CARIBBEAN
Despite the contradictory advice circulated in the late ’90s, if you wanna be my lover, please do not get with my friends.
- olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
- me: falls on face trying to put socks on
- Me watching the Olympics at age 8: Oh that's nice
- Me watching the Olympics at age 12: Wow I hope we win
- Me watching the Olympics at age 16: I'm going to fuck the entire swim team and no one can stop me
- Damien: Hey I just met you
- Damien: And this is loco
- Damien: But heres 4 candies
- Damien: YOU GO GLEN COCO
- Glen Coco:
- me watching the olympics: how
- me: ugly people exist to make pretty people stand out
- me: so that's my contribution to society
- me: you're welcome