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  • Parent: what does a cow say?
  • Baby: "moo!"
  • Parent: yes! And what does a sheep say?
  • Baby: "baah!"
  • Parent: yay! And what does a pig say?
  • Baby: *whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"

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getinthefuckingjaeger:

nostopdasgay:

catslock:

condelimoncio:

 MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE

THAT’S CHEATING

This is a blatant violation of trust

YOU LYING FUCKS I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE ADMIRING THE BRICK LAYERS THAT ALWAYS LAY THE BRICKS NEAT AND PERFECTLY LINED UP HOLY SHIT I LOOK UP TO YOU HOW COULD YOU

dinosaurrebel:

illegalaustralien:

Friend: If you had a superpower, which one would you choose?

Me:

image

Basically

(via holdmeclosedontletgox)

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youcantcancelquidditch:

nightvails:

I got catcalled while I was walking the other day and I couldn’t think of anything clever to say so I just made the most hideous shrieking noise I possibly could.

I heard the guys in the car go “the fuck?”

#no this is good let’s do this

(Source: gambiht, via traggedy-man)

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concernedresidentofbakerstreet:

hippostin:

the way Portia is looking at Ellen kills me

"look at this fucking nerd im so glad i married her

snopchat:

mom what THE FUCK do you mean youre not a virgin

(Source: flapped, via whiskeytrucksandgoodfucks)

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