best-of-funny:

trisarahdactyl:

michaelceratops:

osointricate:

I wonder what President Lincoln would think about there being a movie about him killing vampires. 

“whats a movie”

#’fuck you im not going into another theater’

X

sherwat:

chrissykilljoybitchtits:

inc-omparable:

im-fandoomed:

hitlervevo:

why the fuck cant we text the police

lets say there is a murderer in ur house and you’re hiding behind your sofa and you do have your phone with you but you can’t call the police because the murderer might hear you

Here in Canada you can

Here in England we just… scream and run

Here in Scotland we paint our faces and run towards the murderer

Here in Australia you are the murderer

(via dangerousdare)

pityreblogs:

when i’m old i’m going to say “or as they said in my day “yolo swag””

(via keepmefr0mwaking)

dapenguinninja:

sincerely-harry:

my baby brother was really upset so

he was crying

until he realized he was taking selfies on my laptop

The last one tho

(Source: thirlwingz, via venomousfeelings)